


E%quisite (Art) Exhibition

by letmetellyousomething



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Exhibitionism, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rutting, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 17:44:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2034231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmetellyousomething/pseuds/letmetellyousomething
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Equius, Look into my eyes. That gaze be speaking TRUST. We gotta snap this chance like that surfing Pikachu in pokemon snap, lay out dem apples for that fucker like pearls on a heiress' crane neck. This car-"<br/>Dave whispered intensely, stroking the hood of the car.<br/>"-could be gone by tomorrow! Off to a comic convention, never to be seen again! Can you reconcile that with your consciousness? Your only regret: not having sexed Dave on that fugly glorious car that one time?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	E%quisite (Art) Exhibition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boco/gifts).



"Wow." said Dave in toneless wonder when he sighted it. He overtook Equius and walked around the front of the car:  
a human military fatigue green Ford Granada circa '82 with tinted windows and a local numberplate (not that Equius knew much about human cars). It was a parked in a quiet side alley in the shade of an ash tree. Even so the hood must have felt warm after an unusually hot day when Dave rested his hands on it.

He glanced around while Equius stared mesmerized at its paint job, half shying away from the car, half vibrating in its pull.

"Let's do this." Dave proclaimed as he stepped back, taking in the picture.  
"This is us. I'm _in_. I'm game, Equius."  
Equius straightened himself.

"Excuse you. I'll not enable the larceny of this work of art from his rightful owner! They must have exquisite taste after all."

"Dude no, who's talking about enacting Done in sixty seconds here? Fuck I wouldn't steal a measly bobby car g ride for my bro Kip, let alone fifty. And if I had to be known after a city in fucking Tennessee, I would rather be Nashville. An ironic fake pantheon and blues, what's not to like?"  
Dave rambled, rummaging through his pockets.

"You're talking none sense. However it's quite normal to be overwhelmed in the presence of such splendour. And I appreciate your... preference for blue hues."  
Equius wrung his hands, which had gotten quite clammy. He decided to stand right next to his date for this extolling view. Maybe later he would let his arm hover a few millimeters over Dave's shoulder. It would be a nice closure to the evening.

My Little Pony was, of course, an excellent entertainment show with high moralistic value. To elevate it like this not only spoke of appropriate reverence, but also of an eye that grasped how the imagery for mere foalgrubs could be daintliy enriched for an older, more... mature, sophisticated audience.  
The reproduced Rarity was one of Equius favorite ponies (although it was of course impossible to choose).  
The picture on the side of the car was a faithful illustration to show the mastery of the original style. On the mural of the hood however, the artist had braced a more traditional challenge, almost akin to muscle beast art.

Here Rarity turned into a beautiful anthropomorphic centaur, who then again embosomed a naked human version of herself, who in turn got embraced by a dragon, who might've been Spike. His muscle mass was exquisitely built. It made a feasting view. Human Rarity's over-pronounced rumble spheres were probably full of nutritious milk to symbolize STRENGTH and fertility.  
The art style itself was new to him, although he could place it within the eastern beforan animation style, or the human equivalent of thereof.  
Really, what an artful, E%QUISITE take on the characters...

"Safe sex me on that car, Equius."

Dave held up one of the STRONG condoms with a triumphant huff, promptly turned around and planted his behind on the hood of the car.

"Oh..." breathed Equius.  
"...Yes!" Dave sprawled himself awkwardly over the picture, positioning himself over the human.  
"You in?"

"I... I would surely hurt you without the upper most precarious measures!"  
"One-sided rutting hand job then. Equius. Look into my eyes."  
He pushed up his glasses, something he saved for intimate moments.

"That gaze be speaking TRUST. We gotta snap this chance like that surfing Pikachu in pokemon snap, lay out dem apples for that fucker like pearls on a heiress' crane neck. This car-"  
He whispered intensely, stroking the picture.  
"Could be gone by tomorrow! Off to a comic convention, never to be seen again! Can you reconcile that with your consciousness? You'll lay on your dying bed, a bazillion years old and still think, shit, I should have pounded-"  
"Stro- stroked!"  
"Stroked myself and Dave off on that fugly glorious car that one time."

"Wouldn't it be ignominious to the artist and the owner..." Equius trailed off, waiting for further encouragement.  
"Oh definitely. To the point of homage."  
"Anybody could see us!" added Equius, moving closer.  
"Whatever, we will be "done in sixty seconds". Hell, I'm already-" Dave laughed, with the slightest bit of nervousness in his voice. Then he stopped himself, observing Equius' face.

"Shit, yeah. The good folks of Austin just have to look outside, or turn around the corner. And I'm not sure we could stop once we get going!"  
"Oh. Oh my god! What a foul show we would give. It'll look like I took you right there in the heat of passion without any thought for decency, it's- so magnificently depraved!"  
Equius was shaking by now. Dave leaned back against the car.

"I'll take a joy ride on you, with like, at least four whole horse powers under the hood." Dave mewed while hurriedly pulling his jeans down, losing his cool. His genitals always looked like cauliflower to Equius.  
However he had acquired a taste for it, always the considerate lover.

"If you're prepared to be particularly forceful about it... I may be suitably disgusted to comply." Equius hissed passionately through his teeth, whipping out his erection, a mighty cork-screw bulge.  
Dave looked appropriately impressed by its state of STRONG flushness.

"Fuck... Yes, with the force of a billion dancing frankfurter sausages. Now be good and hold still. Cause my meat is getting the metal heat here. It's a sensation play I wasn't anticipating."  
He carefully drew Equius close enough to grind himself up against his body. Then he pulled that restricting condom over Equius' member.

"Oh... Oh my goodness... I can't believe I'm entertaining this." Equius groaned. He felt tense and relaxed at the same time- exercising absolute control over his stillness and giving all of it up all the same.  
Meanwhile Dave tenderly fondled his bared behinds' seed flaps, rubbing and smearing his genetic material all over himself. It was quite a different feeling to have them out in the cool evening air!  
It gave him a feeling of noble naturism to be like this with his lover.

Equius gritted his teeth to resist the urge to budge, while taking turns at staring into centaur Rarity's face and at Spike's magnificent abs. To enjoy such pristine art while being openly touched in such an indecent way was really the height of debauchery!

Then several things happened at once.

The car alarm went off when Dave's ass bounced off the hood again.

Startled, Equius pressed him protectively to his chest, which broke one of Dave's ribs.

Somebody dressed only in suspenders and boxers jumped out of the car, a certain Karlie Born.  
(he was a stock car driver who lived in this car for most of the summer months and had been taking a nap until now).  
Dave wanted to point out that he was in pain and that the guy had a freaking rifle, but he was too hard-pressed for air. 

Equius made a run for it anyway, shredding his trousers in the process, not looking back once while the bullets whistled around them.

Later Dave swore he saw a clown heroically shielding their abscondence, taking the bullets for them...

However the police never found his body, or anybody in hospital that fit the description.


End file.
